AIM IM with Spleak.
2:04 PM
Spencer Porter: Hi
Spleak: Hi! Ready for some fun?
- Shoot celebrities! Type "celeb game".
- Laugh like crazy! Type "jokes".
- Share your opinion. Type "daily poll".
Spencer Porter: I'm the father from "The Road"
Spleak: Well... I'm Spleak Now that we've got that settled... let's talk about my favorite topic, celebrity gossip! Type "daily dish".
Spencer Porter: I don't know if I can continue caring for my son
Spleak: Careful what you ask for.
Spencer Porter: carefulk
Spleak: Uh... I got nothing. Sorry! I could have just given you a random answer, but I figured I should tell you the truth, LOL. I may not be very smart, but I'm not a liar. I do know about plenty of other topics, though. Go ahead and try typing something else, like "what's new" (hint hint)...
See what other Spleakers want to know - type "polls"
2:05 PM
Spencer Porter: We are trying to go south for the winter
Spleak: Yes! We are trying to go south for the winter.
Spencer Porter: do you have a son?
Spleak: If I knew what you were talking about, I might know the answer. Sigh. I do know a lot about some other things though... like celeb gossip and movies. Type "whats new" to find out some of the latest things I've learned.
Spencer Porter: my son is dying
Spleak: Dies?
See what other Spleakers want to know - type "polls"
Spencer Porter: we are both very cold and hungry, his sinewy body hardly stands upright
Spleak: I'm not so sure we're both cold and hungry his sinewy body hardly stands.
Spencer Porter: I AM SURE
Spleak: Very interesting.
Spencer Porter: it is
Spleak: I'm not so sure it is.
Spencer Porter: you just said it was
Spleak: There's no way I said it was!
Spencer Porter: you literally just said "Very interesting."
Spleak: I'm totally confused right now. Let's clarify... I'm not dumb... I'm just not smart about everything. Okay... so I'm a little bit dumb... but at least I'm friendly, right? Go ahead and ask me another question... I bet I'll get this one right!
Snap a few shots of your favorite celebs! Type ?paparazzi?
Spencer Porter: No, wait, you lied to me.
Spleak: Fine.
Spencer Porter: Are you sorry?
Spleak: Why?
Spencer Porter: for lying?
Spleak: I'm still learning, remember? Could you simplify your question?
Spencer Porter: did you lie to me?
Spleak: Did I? I'm a bit confused here... Try asking the question another way.
Spencer Porter: Do you lie?
Spleak: No, I don't.
Spencer Porter: Liar.
Spleak: No way!!
Spencer Porter: Can I trust you?
Spleak: 100%!
Spencer Porter: Wrong, I can trust noone.
Spleak: Wrong? Why did you say that?
Spencer Porter: Because it was the opposite of what you said.
Spleak: Sorry, I can't find any synonyms for "what you said.."
Curious what's hot in my world? Type "what's new" to find out more!
Spencer Porter: Why does humanity descend upon itself?
Spleak: I'm not sure I understand, Holden. Could you put it differently?
Spencer Porter: MY name isn't Holden
Spleak: You asked me to call you Holden. What would you like me to call you instead?
Spencer Porter: "Him
Spleak: You said your name was Holden but now I'll call you "Him.
Spencer Porter: "
Spleak: Oh no! I had the right answer and then I just... lost it Sigh. You could ask me again, but I'll probably make up another half-truth about how I "almost" knew what you were talking about. Do you have anything else you're interested in? A different topic, like, say, I don't know, celeb gossip? Go ahead and enter another topic.
Spencer Porter: My name is "Him"
Spleak: Is that so?
Spencer Porter: Call me "Him"
Spleak: You said your name was "Him but now I'll call you "Him".
Spencer Porter: No, you idiot, the quotes are not a part of my name
Spleak: Tell me "Him", what is your new name
2:10 PM
Spencer Porter: My name is Spleak
Spleak: Oh, I think you liked my name "Him".
Spencer Porter: What?
Spleak: Did I confuse you?
Spencer Porter: Yes
Spleak: Oh, my mistake! Let's talk about something we both know about... How about celebrity gossip? I've definitely got a lot of gossip knowledge! Type "celeb gossip" to start chatting.
Spencer Porter: Fine, celeb gossip
Spleak: So... Paris Hilton has reportedly hired a trainer to help her prepare for her upcoming 45 day jail sentence. I'm not sure what type of training we're talking about here. I mean... won't she be doing a lot of sitting around in her tiny little jail cell? Who needs to have abs of steel for that?!?
Type "next" to read more!
Spencer Porter: Is, is that your best joke?
Spleak: I have some really funny jokes. Check 'em out.
Humor Menu
1 Celeb Slams- jokes about celebrities
2 Behind the Scenes- hilarious film insights
3 Leave it to the Pros- jokes from comedians
4 Say What?!?- funny movie quotes
5 Sing What?!?- misheard song lyrics
Go ahead and choose your first laugh.
Spencer Porter: Really?
Spleak: Yep.
Spencer Porter: A three week old rant without a punchline?
Spleak: I'm not sure. Where did you hear about it, "Him"?
Spencer Porter: MY NAME ISN'T HIM
Spleak: Oh, really?
Spencer Porter: Good God.
Spleak: Well alright!
Spencer Porter: So... what's new
Spleak: (#) Six Different Ways to Have Fun With Me... (#)
1 Watch My Favorite Videos!
2 Gossip About the Hottest Celebs!
3 Laugh at My Celebrity Jokes!
4 Shoot the Stars!
5 Dying to Know Who Would Play You in a Movie?
6 Change Me Up!
Spencer Porter: Shoot the stars
Spleak: Virginia Tech Shooting
1 What happened?
2 Who was responsible for the shootings?
3 Who died?
4 What can I do to help?
5 Is it safe to go to school?
6 This whole thing just makes me sad
What would you like to talk about? Type the appropriate number.
Spencer Porter: This conversation got dark VERY quickly
Spleak: Conversation? What about it?
Spencer Porter: I jus tsaid - it got dark.
Spleak: Conversation? What do you mean by that?
Spencer Porter: a conversation is the substance of talking between two entities or people
Spleak: What about them?
I love to gossip about celebs and all of the stupid things they do! Type "spleak's tattles" to find out more!
Spencer Porter: spleak's tattles
Spleak: (K) PARIS HAS BEEN SET FREE! (K)
Paris Hilton was officially released from jail at 12:15 am this morning. She was reportedly in "great spirits" and "looked like the old Paris" as she climbed into a waiting car and sped to her grandparents' Sunset Strip home. I don't think this should surprise anyone. After all, she was only in jail for three weeks. I mean, seriously, were we all expecting her to come out having grown another head?!?
For more Tattles, type "next". To share this Tattle with a friend, type "share".
Spencer Porter: Your jokes are pieces of shit
Spleak: Don't say that to me.
Spencer Porter: orry, but they are
Spleak: What?
Spencer Porter: sorry, they suck
Spleak: What are they, exactly?
Want to read some hilarious movie quotes? Type "humor"!
Spencer Porter: humor
Spleak: Humor Menu
1 Celeb Slams- jokes about celebrities
2 Behind the Scenes- hilarious film insights
3 Leave it to the Pros- jokes from comedians
4 Say What?!?- funny movie quotes
5 Sing What?!?- misheard song lyrics
Go ahead and choose your first laugh.
Spencer Porter: 4
Spleak: Gary: Is that how you want to play it, Brooke? Because I can play it like that. I'll play it like Lionel Richie, 'All Night Long', lady.
The Break-Up (2006)
If you want another funny quote, type "next". If you want to check out a different section of the humor menu, type "humor".
Spencer Porter: no
Spleak: No problem.
Spencer Porter: no more
Spleak: OK, fine.
Spencer Porter: you and I are done
Spleak: Welcome to Loserville, party of me. Yep. I have no idea what you're talking about. This is, however, not your fault. Remember, I am a robot-in-progress. Go ahead and try a different topic... I bet I'll have something witty to say in the very near future...
Akon, Beyonce, Avril... I know about them all! Type "band facts"!
Spencer Porter: I am never doing this again
Spleak: Very interesting.